Men

My track record with men isn't that great.

My father was abusive and I didn't see him much after the age of 4.

My first boyfriend fucked around with pretty much every girl in Beer Sheva, I was with him for 4 years.

Then I had a one night stand with someone and of course went and fell in love with him (best sex of my life).

Then Nimrod for 22 years. He let me know right at the beginning of the relationship that he doesn't like sex and he doesn't do laundry and he doesn't cook and he doesn't change light bulbs... the list goes on. I accepted all the terms and consequently became a sex starved slave.

I fell in love with someone on whatsapp and Instagram, he is a painter and everytime he wrote to me telling me about his paintings I had a kundalini awakening. It was rough.

Then I met a 70 year old guy with erectile disfunction who lovebombed me and ran. Not fun.

Now I am alone. At first I was scared and bitter but now I am having the time of my life. Enjoying every moment of freedom, doing what the hell I want when I want.

For the past few years I have worked on forgiveness, acceptance and surrender in my relationships with men. I am able to forgive it all. I mostly forgive myself. I let raccoons be raccoons, I understand that the narcissist is a reflection of the empath and both exist in me. I understand that because I didn't have a masculine rolemodel as a child I was ok with accepting nothing from men. That's not happening anymore.